Moment of Hope: My Song About Growing Up, Autonomy, and Family
This episode of Eighty Unplugged features my song “Moment of Hope”. I perform the song and then sit down with my co-host and husband, JJ, to dive into a conversation guided by a lyric breakdown. We talk about autonomy, parent-child relationships, and more. In this blog, I further reflect on my memories of writing the song.
Wait just a second…
“Wait just a second, let me make my mind up
It’d be a shame to waste what I got
Wait just a second, let me dry my eyes off
I fear that I might do this wrong
Wait just a second I’ll tell you my opinions
I’m not too keen to take things sitting down
Wait just a second, let me get a word in
If we can try, we might compromise “
This song starts with the line “wait just a second”, a plea to have more time. I wrote this song ten years ago, when I was 15 years old and gaining a new understanding of the world. This inspired lots of conversations with my father that were fraught with tension. As a parent, you want to teach your children your understanding of what is right and wrong. As a young adult, you are trying to find your own understanding. I felt like my father wasn’t giving me the time to express my opinions. This verse is expressing how I wanted to share my own ideas, but didn’t feel like he was giving me the time to or taking me seriously. Our conversation felt like debates where we searched for mutual understanding and compromise.
Moment of hope…
“Cause all I need is a moment
A moment of hope”
One of these conversations was centered around my music and lyrics. I generally felt unheard and misunderstood, which inspired me to start writing songs as an outlet. The themes usually explored emotions I found hard to express, like anger or loneliness. Although I didn’t receive the understanding I was searching for by writing the songs, my father was concerned that I was being too negative and asked to see a “moment of hope” in my music. It made me reflect on our current relationship and realize that's what we’re both looking for: a moment where we felt hope.
The “moment of hope” line could be interpreted in a lot of ways: a moment of positivity, a moment to share your opinion, a moment where you see eye to eye, a moment where you truly understand the other person’s perspective. What my father and I needed the most was hope for the future.
I’m feeling nostalgic…
“Wait just a second, cause I’m feeling nostalgic
I don’t know when this will happen again
Wait just a second, come on be patient
It’s not like me to ask for too much “
The second verse starts with the same plea for time, more time to enjoy the moment. I feared that my father and I were both so focused on starting the next steps in life that we were ignoring what was ending. Our relationship as a child and father was changing and would never be the same again. I felt like I was walking the line of wanting to enjoy what childhood I had left and wanting to grow into my own person. I’m asking for patience in several ways; for my father to have the patience for me to learn from my own perspective, but also for patience so we can take in what will soon become a memory.
I don’t know how the world is…
“Wait just a second, cause I’m afraid, I’m frightened
I don’t know how to do this alone
Wait just a second, I don’t know how the world is
I don’t know how to face it alone “
The autonomy that comes with age can be frightening. The need to be independent and to be seen as an individual is strong, but it’s scary to feel like you will be on your own. This section really expresses my need to still have the support and guidance of my father. Our conversations were worth having because we came out the other side with a stronger connection. As we both grow older, our roles in each other's lives change, but I know no matter what, he is always there for me.
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by Eighty
Wait just a second, let me make my mind up
It be I shame to waste what I got
Wait just a second, Let me dry my eyes off
I fear that I might this wrong
Wait just a second I’ll tell you my opinions
I’m not too keen to take things sitting down
Wait just a second, Let me get a word in
If we can try, we might compromise
Cause all I need is a moment of, Moment of hope
Wait just a second, cause I’m feeling nostalgic
I don’t know when this will happen again
Wait Just a second, Come on be patient
It’s not like me to ask for too much
Wait just a second Cause I’m afraid I’m frightened
I don’t know how to do this alone
Wait just a second, I don’t know how the world is
I don’t know how to face it alone
Face it alone
Cause all I need is a moment of, Moment of hope
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